


Mirror Mirror

by batgurl88



Category: Glee
Genre: 3x21, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Episode Tag, Friendship, Gender Policing, Homophobia, M/M, POV Kurt, Slash, Transphobia, but not by choice, kurt in drag, supportive klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7499757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batgurl88/pseuds/batgurl88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate take on 3x21. What if Kurt had given in to pressure and agreed to perform a drag number to help the club win Nationals?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I repeatedly referred to Unique as "Wade" and with male pronouns in this fic, as it's from Kurt's perspective (who did the same in the show at the time), and IMO the show was a bit unclear in the eps leading up to this one on whether Wade/Unique was trans* or a drag queen (given the whole "I can't summon her" speech). Unique, when referred to independently, is given female pronouns, but basically I apologize for the gender mish-mash, as I was trying to keep it somewhat consistent with the show at the time. The characters' views are not necessarily my own.
> 
> Kurt also has a lot of feelings about his gender and gender performance in this fic. I don't think he has anything against drag in general, and the show has demonstrated he's not a fan of placing gender labels on clothes, but within the context of the situation (and the prompt), I decided his anger would be guiding a lot of his thoughts/words, moreso than his actual thoughts on the subject.
> 
> Also, the whole pointless 'Mercedes gets sick and then quickly recovers' plot didn't happen.
> 
> Based on a Glee Angst Meme prompt - please see the end note for the prompt details.

Kurt leaned forward into the light as he carefully lined his lips with red pencil. He'd decided it was easier if he was too close to the mirror to focus on more than one part of his reflection at a time.

Perched on a stool beside him at the long makeup table, Blaine rested his head on his hand, his expression sympathetic.

"You okay?"

He nodded tightly, putting all of his attention on filling his lips in evenly rather than on the false eyelashes that fluttered and were irritatingly heavy on his eyelids. He knew he'd have to look at the whole finished product soon, but he intended to avoid that for as long as he could.

His eyes darted sideways to Blaine in the mirror. "Are you disappointed in me?"

"What?" Blaine's brow furrowed as he sat up straighter. "Why would you think that?"

Swallowing, Kurt paused in his ministrations to glance up at the scratchy brown wig Blaine had helped him find. It hadn't been nearly as fun as picking out his Snooki costume. Then, he'd been playing it up, both of them laughing as they posed in increasingly ridiculous hairstyles, trying to find one that was the perfect blend of New Jersey trash chic.

This time had been more sombre, the two of them avoiding each others' eyes as they'd reluctantly picked wigs off of the shelf, Kurt's cheeks burning under the judgemental gaze of the salesman. They'd finally settled on a shoulder-length piece that curled just a bit at the ends, like his own hair.

Looking down, he shrugged as casually as he could. "I'm always preaching about being yourself. And here I am, being somebody else all for a stupid solo."

Blaine shook his head. "Kurt, you know that I'm behind you no matter what. And you and I both know that you wouldn't be doing this if Coach Sue hadn't convinced everyone it was the only way we could win."

He reached out, grabbing Kurt's hand to stop him from reaching for a tube of lipstick, and squeezed reassuringly. Hesitantly, Kurt turned to look at him, feeling exposed.

Blaine's thumb rubbed along his in a soothing and familiar manner, his head tilting to the side.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Kurt. I'll back you up one hundred percent."

Before Kurt could answer, Rachel and Santana appeared over his shoulder, their makeup and hair already in place.

"Aren't you done primping yet?" Santana asked, folding her arms. " _Real girls_ don't take this long, and no one's gonna care if your lipstick doesn't perfectly match your purse."

Glowering, Kurt turned back to his makeup station, grabbing the lipstick tube and pointedly ignoring them as he applied it.

Shooting a glare at Santana, Rachel stepped forward. "Don't listen to her, Kurt. I think you make a very beautiful girl, and while I admit I was reluctant about us needing a 'drag number' to clinch ourselves a victory, I appreciate you taking one for the team."

Moving to join their group, Tina smiled. "Yeah, I think you look great, Kurt. You make a gorgeous leading lady, and it's going to be a great number!"

He knew they were trying to make him feel good, but Kurt really wanted them to stop talking. He didn't want to hear about how pretty he looked, or what a great girl he made, especially not with his boyfriend sitting right next to him. He was humiliated enough, and his only solace right now was that his dad hadn't insisted on coming to Chicago to see him perform his first lead solo.

The door to the dressing room opened, Coach Sue strolling in with Mr. Schuester trailing just behind her.

"Ten minutes to show-time, minions! I want to see so much glitter it makes Mariah Carrey hang her head in defeat."

Kurt sighed, putting the makeup down. Reluctantly, he glanced over the final result, taking in the heavy concealer and eyeliner, as well as the blush that highlighted his cheekbones. The girls were right - it was a good look. Just not for him.

He stood, stretching his calves as he balanced himself on his high heels. Learning the choreography had been unimaginable torture on his feet, made all the worse by having to practice it in front of the rest of the club.

Turning to face the group, he straightened his dress out, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. Tina had stayed up the last two nights adjusting the costume to fit him, and while he appreciated her efforts, he couldn't help but glance enviously at Blaine's outfit, thinking of his own matching set that was packed in the bottom of their costume trunk.

Santana looked him up and down appreciatively.

"I have to admit, ladygay, you're pretty hot for a drag queen. Even I might be into you." She shrugged nonchalantly as Brittany came to stand beside her.

Blaine seemed to sense his discomfort.

"Could you guys just back off a bit?" he asked quietly, moving closer to Kurt. Santana shrugged again, clearly unaffected, but turned her attention to Brittany instead.

The others were finishing up with their costumes, coming to stand in the middle of the room. He noticed that most of the other guys were avoiding looking in his direction (except for Sam, who was squinting at him like he might be a new student). Artie was outright cringing, and he couldn't help but be reminded of their last 'Boys versus Girls' assignment.

_'Isn't this lesson about opposites? I mean, you in a sequined gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect.'_

Right. Because being gay meant wearing a dress. Kurt bit down a flare of resentment, taking a deep breath. He was doing this for the team.

Sue came to stand with their group, nodding at him.

"Well, Porcelina," she said with satisfaction, putting her hands on her hips, "I hope you took my advice and strapped your man-parts in with duct tape. The last thing we want is to confuse the judges with a reverse wardrobe-malfunction."

He felt Blaine's hand on his arm, equal parts comforting and restraining, and realised he'd balled his hands into fists. Mr. Schuester was smiling proudly at him, and Kurt could practically hear him congratulating himself for being so open-minded as to let the gay student perform in drag.

The room was crowded and too warm, and Kurt just wanted their performance to be over with so he could go back to looking like himself. This wasn't how he'd envision his first competition solo.

"So, it's true."

They all turned to see Wade standing in the doorway, his eyes on Kurt. He was frowning, disappointment heavy in his expression as he took in Kurt's appearance.

Mr. Schue put his hand out, taking a step toward the door. "Uh, I don't think you should be in here—"

Wade ignored him, still looking at Kurt "The rumor backstage was that New Directions was going to do a drag number to compete with us, but I didn't want to believe it."

Mercedes wrung her hands guiltily across the room. "Wade..."

Kurt couldn't meet his eyes, unable to bear the look he was receiving. Wade had considered him and Mercedes role models. What kind of example was he setting?

Smiling sweetly, Rachel stepped forward to defuse the situation. "Look, it was no secret Vocal Adrenaline was going to have a drag performer as their lead vocalist," she said, and Kurt knew she was mentally reciting the rules of the official Show Choir Handbook to assure herself they hadn't cheated. "Judges are easily swayed by flashy stunts and props. We're just leveling the playing field a little."

"Wearing a dress isn't a stunt for me," Wade told her steadily, taking a step forward. "It's who I am." He turned back to Kurt, shaking his head. " _You're_ the one that told me how important it is to be yourself. I can't believe you'd betray all of that just to win a competition!"

"You think I _like this?_ " Kurt exclaimed, something inside him snapping. "You think I like that the first thought in my teammates' minds is _'the gay kid won't mind wearing a dress'_?" He shook off Blaine's attempts to placate him, his eyes stinging.

"It's not enough that I get the 'lady' comments, or the jokes about my clothes, but that no one even considered that I might not want to cross-dress in front of an audience of thousands? I may not be the brawniest guy out there, but I'm still a man, and I've never questioned that. Being gay doesn't make me a woman, and I hate that the only time I've been offered the lead was when I was expected to dress like one."

Mr. Schuester looked overwhelmed, frowning as he stepped towards him. "Kurt—"

But Kurt had reached his breaking point, and he found the words spilling out of his mouth without his consent. "I'm sick of being told how to be my own gender," he said, glaring around the room. "And how everyone thinks they're complimenting me when they not-so-subtly tell me what a girl I am, or make assumptions about my identity."

Rachel and Tina glanced at each other guiltily as he spoke, looking chastened.

"All I've heard for the last week-and-a-half is how selfish I was being for refusing to do this number," Kurt continued, shooting a glare at Coach Sue, who seemed unimpressed by his anger. "But none of you have ever been asked to change who they are in order to perform. For all that I was too much of a boy to sing 'Defying Gravity', or—" he glanced at Santana and Brittany, "Or to win class president, I'm also apparently too much of a 'lady' to play Tony. Or to be featured as lead in anything other than drag," he added, thinking back harshly to Mr. Schuester's brilliant idea to 'let' him play Frank N. Furter in Rocky Horror, and Santana's cutting remarks about the costume being too 'last season' for him.

Across from him, Artie winced, and Kurt knew he was remembering his reaction to Kurt's auditions for _West Side Story_.

Turning his attention back to Wade, who'd watched his outburst silently, Kurt straightened his shoulders, trying to calm himself down.

"I am _really_ glad that you've found what makes you special," he said honestly, meeting his eyes. "And if dressing like a woman is part of who you are, then I fully support you. But I have no desire to put on a dress and high heels just to meet everyone else's expectations."

He pulled the wig off his head and threw it to the floor, daring anyone to comment. The room was silent, the rest of the glee club exchanging uncomfortable glances in the wake of his speech. Finn was determinedly staring at the floor, as Puck scratched the back of his neck.

He felt Blaine's hand on the small of his back, and some of the tension in his muscles released.

"Porcelain, I'm only going to say this once," Sue said. "I don't tolerate quitters on my team, no matter what size heels they're wearing."

"I'm not quitting," Kurt said evenly, meeting her gaze. "I'm still perfectly capable of singing lead. I'll do the number, but I'm doing it as _myself_. No dress, no wig, no high heels. Either the judges see me for who I really am, or not at all."

A smile was tugging at Wade's lips as he stood in the doorway, Mr. Schuester shaking his head again.

"Kurt, I'm... sorry if you felt like you were being pressured," he said, still obviously surprised by his outburst.

Kurt took a breath, knowing they didn't have much time left, and that there was a limit to how much they could really understand how they'd made him feel. "Look, I appreciate the faith that you're all putting in me to perform, and I promise I won't let you down. I'd just also appreciate it if everyone stopped making assumptions about me because of my sexuality."

"Well, that was a heartwarming Lifetime movie moment," Santana drawled, folding her arms. "But if you're planning to perform as Steve rather than Eve, I think you'd better start unpacking your man-junk ASAP, 'cause I gots a showchoir competition to win."

The comment seemed to spur everyone into action, Tina and Sugar scrounging through the costume trunk to find Kurt's spare costume as the others quickly went about their finishing touches. Blaine helped Kurt step out of the high heels before he sat back down at the table, finding the makeup remover.

"Break a leg out there."

Kurt glanced up to see Wade standing there, looking pleased. He nodded.

"You, too. And thanks."

Mercedes met his eyes across the room, smiling as she drew a heart over her chest with both hands. Kurt nodded his appreciation, knowing she was among the few who'd seen how much this week had been wearing on him. She waved as she bustled out of the room, escorting Wade back to his group and allowing Kurt to get ready.

Gratefully locating a hypoallergenic wipe that wouldn't destroy his skin, Kurt blotted at his makeup, watching with satisfaction as it began to disappear.

Blaine smiled, linking his fingers with the hand Kurt wasn't using. "I'm really proud of you. And you're going to be great out there."

A warm feeling blossomed in Kurt's chest as he matched his boyfriend's loving expression. "Thank you," he said, meaning it with every part of himself.

He glanced back at the mirror, feeling renewed.

He still needed to change costumes, and the stain of eyeliner wasn't quite gone yet, but for the first time all day, it was his reflection staring back.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt:
> 
> "Kurt eventually gives in to Coach. He decides to "take one for the team" and go drag on the Nationals. He puts on a game face on rehearsals and lets everyone think it's fine.
> 
> When he is putting finishing touches on his makeup for the performance at Nationals, Unique comes to confront him as he has heard rumors Kurt doing drag. Kurt brakes down and cries something like he doesn't want to be a girl. Maybe he tells Unique how he has been referred as "ladyboy" and how people makes assumptions because he is bit effeminate, though he sees himself as a boy. And now, after hard work in Glee, the only way he is going to get a solo in Nationals is by putting on a dress and being something he is not.
> 
> Up to the filler, but I would love to ND + Shue&Sylvester be there to hear this. Also bonus if Kurt is very beautiful when he has put on the makeup and dress and girls in glee is commenting on that (which doesn't make Kurt any happier). Supportive Blaine would be great also!"


End file.
